This One Time... Nevermind

I decided to ask a few friends of mine to help me with this post. These are snippets of the conversation Sean, Jesse, Mandy, and I had.
I like/am scared of these people.

-Ameera

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One day I abandoned my father, and then he cried. And then I left and did stupid stuff that no one cares about.

what what what what what what what what what what what what what what?

what?

Haha. Haha. Haha.
Hah
hah
hah
ahaha
hahah

Guess what?

I LOVE STRIPPERS.
I actually ate a stripper once. It was a legit stripper. I disolved the meat off of her bones with acid.


No nooooo. They were freaking out and saying their computer was talking to them.

I LOVE PEDOPHILES!
That does sound funny.

Sean. Steph messaged me, but I never replied. Because I'm a badass.

I don't date rapists!
I ONLY date rapists.


...She wants to make a snow unicorn.
YEAH. Who makes a snow unicorn? Like, what the fuck?


It makes me sad because I love hearing your voice. Sean, did you hear the sound I made afterwards? It was me wagging my tongue.

How old are you? Less than 10 is good.

How do you not like how hot she is? That makes me sad. Her hotness is just beyond your comprehension. I get it.


Her lips like, look a different color than her skin in these pictures.
I don't care.
That's all I care about.


I don't understand this picture.
She's a JEDI!
Yeah, but why...?

Yeah, that's what I was laughing about. The way he said nice.


What's that number? Can I call it?
Yeah, it's Jenny.
EIGHTSIXSEVENFIVETHREEOHNIIINE.

We're the only ones left! Mirandy died!

Everything I say is a joke... Just kidding. See! Even that was a joke.

I ordered a pizza and I wanna go get it but then I'd have to walk.
Brb. I'm going to walk downstairs and get my pizza UHUHUHUH it's hard to walk. -sobbing/seizure noises-

GUYS. I JUST HAD THE MOST INTERESTING 15-FOOT WALK EVER.
I died a little bit, but it's okay.
Okay.
I'm going to start my story with the fact I got my pizza.
I saw a lady. That was actually a scarecrow with an S drawn on her. YEAH! It was on the TV.
And then like I saw my dog and I stopped to talk to him. Like I said 'Sit'
But then imagined myself as the dog and yelled 'YOU SIT!'
Omnomnomnom

OM NOM. I did say gulp gulp gulp.

Aand the wheels of love go 'round, the wheels of love go 'rooound.

So this one guy was having his girlfriend rub his feet on the ferris wheels of Bethlehem.

THIS PIZZA IS SO BIG AND CHEESY.

I'm gunna go look at more pictures of Emma Watson. Did I show you guys this one?
D'aw, I love little bows.
You showed us this one already!
I know, I just wanted to show you how hot she is.

I wanna see how far this sock goes on my foot.

Don't chew with your mouth open!!

Your cat is you in cat form.
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P.S.
MERRY HOLIDAYS.